


To Billy

by TheonSugden



Category: Coronation Street
Genre: Child Death Mention, Gen, Pregnancy, alcohol mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 06:31:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5529506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheonSugden/pseuds/TheonSugden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Over a casual Christmas conversation, Sarah and Todd soon remember the son they lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Billy

“What do you call it?”

Todd put down his Christmas-flavored pint (whatever that meant…a candy cane with a cardboard Santa hat on top) to hear Bethany’s question.

“Call what?”

“When gay men start getting really old and out of shape?”

Todd laughed - sputtered, more of a sputter - before Sarah showed up, glowering.

Bethany cut her off.

“I know, I know. Be nicer to Pretend Daddy #1. I’ll make it a resolution…right under learning Dothraki.”

Bethany left to annoy her grandmother, leaving Sarah with half-hearted apologies Todd waved off.

“I think I preferred her when she couldn’t speak.” 

Sarah let out a snort, her first real laugh in a long time. 

“I think I did too.”

It was only after Sarah had moved to Milan with Bethany that she’d realized the worst of being a parent. No free childcare, no mum or gran to be there when Sarah was busy, too busy to remind Bethany right and wrong. As a result Bethany had spent the last 8 years seeing Sarah as a mum, a sister, a best mate…and a rival. 

She didn’t want to think about Bethany, or the sick feeling in her stomach from a baby she did and didn’t want, or Callum’s rotting corpse under her mum’s en suite.

Right now, she just wanted to sit with Todd, like when they were teenagers again. Not like they were in love and were going to get married and be a “real family” - she wasn’t that delusional - but before Todd had come out to her, before they’d lost their baby, before he’d hurt her so much, more than anyone ever had before or since, before she’d done her best to hurt him in return. 

 _“Billy! Billy! I said BILLY!”_ Sean shrieked, Todd rolling his eyes harder each time until they nearly fell out of his head. 

“He’s nice,” Sarah said absentmindedly. 

“Him? He’s a little bi…oh, Billy? Yeah. Makes me want to go all _Thunderbirds_.”

Sarah squinted confusion.

“I think you mean _Thornbirds_.”

Todd smirked, tilting his head as he finished his second pint.

“Nah. When he used to put that collar on - let’s just say all my systems were GO!”

Sarah laughed, hitting his shoulder.

“You’re ridiculous.”

He stuck his tongue out.

“Yeah…I am. I get to be that now - I sure as hell wasn’t when I was a teenager. Neither of us were.” 

Sarah knew how true that was, and it hurt her even more now than it did back then, when she’d cry herself to sleep knowing she’d never have the life she’d wanted…not even close.

Todd stared at his empty glass.

“Might go and see…see our Billy. Haven’t been since - I can’t remember.”

At one time Sarah never would have accepted going with him. She would have killed him rather than even let him go on his own.

“I think I’d like that.” 

She and Todd traded sad smiles of a pain no one else could ever understand.

“Such a common name,” Todd said, fiddling with his gold-plated cufflinks. “Not like Kentucky Bluebird or summat. But when I hear it…”

Her eyes began to well up, her hand unconsciously placed on her stomach. 

“Sometimes - sometimes I feel like he sent me this baby. Like this is my second chance.”

Todd’s face crumpled. 

“Oh, Sarah-Lou,” he said, softly, letting her put his hand on her belly, where her hand had just been. “I’m sorry for what I did. For…for so much.”

She knew she was going to start ugly crying in front of half the Street if she didn’t stop, or if Todd didn’t stop staring at her that way.

“Hey…” she said, voice at a fast clip to change the subject, “remember that Christmas where we all lost our gas, and you got beat up by my boyfriend…what was his name…”

“That doesn’t exactly narrow it down.”

“Shut up! It was Luke. Luke Ashton.”

Todd sneered. “I did NOT get beaten up by him. Moody little sod he was. Old before his time. I bet he looks like Bruce Forsyth now.”

“Todd!” Sarah giggled. “Did you fancy him? You can tell me, you know.”

Todd made a gagging sound.

“I didn’t really let myself fancy any boys back then,” he said, somewhat somberly, “except Ade. Ade was gorgeous. And boy did he know it. You even almost let him pierce your eye when you were sozzled on the sofa.”

“I did not!” she lied, knowing she had. She’d done a lot of stupid things with him. “He was gorgeous though.” 

Todd handed her a sparkling water. 

“Drink a toast, Sarah-Lou.”

She smiled.

“To Ade?”

He shook his head, serious now, voice barely above a whisper.

“To Billy.” 

Sarah said nothing, throat filled with tears as Todd hugged her. 

“To Billy,” she said, Todd’s lips on her forehead.

“To Billy,” they said together, one last time.


End file.
